Sorta kinda employed Nine

As anyone who follows this blog is all too aware of, I was laid off from my job of 13 ½ years Oct. 2, and I’ve chronicled my experiences of dealing with being unemployed, looking for a job and everything that goes along with it. I’ve done it more as therapy for myself, but if anything I’ve written helps anyone else, that’s a bonus.

Some of you may remember that I took on a part-time job in April. I’ve been working on the Web site for Sports Video Group. It’s fun work in a great atmosphere with great people, and I’d be ecstatic if it ever developed into a full-time gig, but this is 2009 and budgets rule everything, so all I can do is work hard and hope.

I’m obviously still looking for a full-time job, so I answered an ad last week and went on an interview that went exceptionally well. The good news: I’m writing for a well-known blog, WebNewser, owned by a very well-respected company known to anyone who’s ever worked five minutes in the media industry, mediabistro. The bad news: It’s another part-time position.

Is this a case of part-time plus part-time equals full-time? Well, in terms of hours, yes, but in terms of additions to the checking account, not so much a lot. One position pays by the hour, and the other pays by the post. According to my calculations, even a super-productive work week, such as the one I put in last week, will still bring in about one-half of what I was making at my old job.

But, as I said, this is 2009, and I have to deal with the reality of the situation. No promises were made, but there is the potential for either job to actually become a “real,” full-time job. And the WebNewser gig provides great experience and great exposure. So I’m not complaining at all: I’m actually quite happy with the situation.

It’s a lot of work, but it’s good, fun, quality, productive work. My two biggest adjustments have been getting used to shifting back and forth between the two jobs and reminding myself to take a break at times before my eyes fall out of my head. I had a couple of 3:30 lunches after getting caught up in work, but I’m getting a little better at time management.

So for the advice portion of this blog: If anyone else who’s out of work is fortunate enough to find opportunities such as the two I’ve found, jump on them. Yes, I want a full-time job, and yes, making one-half of what I was making isn’t ideal, but I’m working, I’m staying sharp, I’m getting exposure and experience and I’m doing something with my days besides playing Facebook Scrabble. It’s 2009: Thumbing your nose at a good part-time gig may not be the wisest move.

Major surprise at Minor League game

I absolutely love Minor League Baseball and really need to get to more games. I love being much closer than you’ll ever get at a Major League Baseball game (unless you feel like handing over $1,250 to Lonn Trost and the rest of the ass hats in the Yankees organization). I love the relaxed, family atmosphere. I love paying $1.75 for a hotdog and $4 for a freezing cold beer. I love enjoying the game itself and not stressing over who’s winning and losing.

FirstEnergy Stadium, home of the Reading Phillies

Just for the sake of getting out of town and doing something different, my girlfriend and I spent Saturday night in the bustling metropolis of Reading, Pa. We did some outlet shopping during the day (half-price Coach bags, ladies!), then went to FirstEnergy Stadium to see the Harrisburg Senators, the AA affiliate of the Washington Nationals, take on the Reading Phillies, the AA affiliate of the real Phillies.

While driving into the parking lot — and by the way, not only were fourth-row tickets behind the Phillies’ dugout $11.50, but parking was free (yes, free!) — we saw a sign that said, “Brad Lidge tonight.” Yes, that Brad Lidge, the closer of the World Champion Philadelphia Phillies.

Lidge pitched the top of the first inning as part of his injury rehab, and it was remarkable to watch him pitch from so close. He dominated his inning after a leadoff single, then was probably well past the Reading city limits by the time rain delayed the game after the bottom of the first inning.

Brad Lidge, chicken cheesesteak, Lancaster Brewing Rare Rooster and Hop Hog and fourth-row seats, all for probably under $50, including the beer: Like I said, I absolutely love Minor League Baseball!

Brad Lidge with Reading Phillies on rehab assignment

Whatever you do, don’t listen to Ophra

English for Dummies

Even though I’m a copy editor at heart, I can deal with the occasional typo, misspelling or grammatical error. I cannot, however, deal with a complete and utter gutting of the English language, and my head still hurts from reading this one.

This e-mail just came in as an anonymous tip to a blog I just started working on. Beware: It’s painful.

Unedited (because this is beyond help):

ACCAY BERRY CAN KILL YOU . If you have a seizure dysorder ,hyothiroid ,to take this diet pill can be killin you . yet OPRHA AND OTHER NETWORKS have been promoting this diet product for same time . There is no warning ,when you buy it ,what worries me more is ,that this diet promoter they know if they can go on ophra they have it made. Oprha must not take just any one wwith a pruduct like that ,talk highly about it ,then we as consumers have to pay the prize .. This is a freefall ,and it is hurting a lot of poeple .Before oprha starts to put her two cents in ,i would ask her to investigate this problem ,before one of us gets killed .

OH MY GOD, LEARN ENGLISH!

Yankee tickets + rain = stupid questions

As anyone who either knows me or reads this blog already knows, I’m splitting full season tickets to the Yankees with a friend.

I'm with stupid

And as anybody with a window knows, all it has done since the month of June started is fucking rain, which makes dealing with baseball tickets a very difficult ordeal.

However, I have a few friends who must think Yankees season tickets come with mystical powers, based on the stupid questions I have to listen to almost every time I have tickets on a day when the forecast contains the possibility of precipitation.

First off, I am not the least bit religious. The only “big man” I have any kind of connection with is Clarence Clemons, and that’s strictly musical. So when you ask me, “When is the rain going to stop,” the only answer you should expect is, “How the fuck should I know?”

Second, season tickets don’t provide me with access into the Yankees’ inner sanctum. So when you ask me questions like, “Are they going to call the game?” or “When do they usually call the game?” or “Do you think they’ll call the game?” please see my answer to “When is the rain going to stop?”

I hate rain, especially on days when I have Yankees tickets. The threat of rain annoys me enough. Some of my friends’ questions push me to the boiling point.

And before you ask, no, I DON’T know when they’ll make the game up.

The New York Yankees: As fan-friendly as ever

I don’t know why anything the New York Yankees organization does surprises me anymore, but today was a real whopper.

Rain delay at Yankee Stadium

First, the 1:05 game against the last-place Washington Nationals was delayed not one hour, not two hours, not three hours, but five-and-a-half hours. I understand that the Yankees already have three games to make up, and I realize that the Nationals don’t come back to Yankee Stadium this season, but five-and-a-half hours? Really?

Then, after waiting out the rain delay at Yankee Tavern, when the rain finally let up and they started preparing the field, I entered the ballpark to find out that they had cut off beer sales. Why? If there was such a concern that the 10,000 or so people who were dumb enough to wait out a five-and-a-half-hour delay (myself very much included) were going to be that angry and unruly, maybe that should be a consideration the next time a decision is made on whether to postpone a game or not. Naturally, the people in the Legends Suite had plenty of beer, but I guess those of us who don’t fork over $1,250 per game don’t count.

The one nice thing the ball club did was let people move downstairs, but even that struck me as a public-relations ploy. With all of the abuse the Yankees organization has gotten about the premium seats being empty on TV, the last thing they wanted was another game where the field level was about as sparsely populated as Montana farmland.

Then the capper was the big announcement that in gratitude for the fans waiting out the delay, every ticket to tonight’s game could be exchanged for one free bleacher, grandstand or terrace seat for a future non-premium game. Sounds great, right?

I picked three random midweek games against marginal teams and, just as I suspected, I couldn’t get two seats together in the bleachers, in the grandstand, or in the terrace level. The cheapest pair of seats I found was in the main level, for $125 apiece, and they’re not covered by tonight’s generous gift.

So what exactly did we get in return for waiting five-and-a-half hours to see the Yankees get shut out by the worst team in Major League Baseball? I mean besides wet, sober and irritated?

This organization really needs to be gutted.

Unemployment Nine: Desperate times call for desperate measures

To hell with the Internet, journalism, new media and the like. Thanks to craigslist, I have seen the light. Even though Queens is a bit of a difficult commute from Hoboken, adult entertainment, here I come!

My new career

This ad was on craigslist, under Web design jobs. Um, OK. And this has exactly what to do with the Internet? Yet another great filtering job by craigslist.

Unedited, as always:

TOPLESS DANCERS/ WANTED FOR (GENTLEMENS CLUB)$100′S even $1000′S DAILY (248-58 ROCKAWAY BLVD, QUEENS)
LOOKING FOR DANCERS TO WORK IN ADULT ENTERTAINMENT ESTABLISHMENT (TOPLESS ) IN QUEENS. EARN HUNDREDS AND EVEN THOUSANDS PER DAY
STRICTLY ENTERTAINMENT. DANCE ON STAGE AND IN VIP AREA FOR TIPS. $25.00 PER DANCE, WHICH LASTS 3 MINUTES.
NO EXPERIENCE NECCESSARY. MUST BE 18 AND OVER WITH I.D. PLEASE COME IN TO AUDITION. PLEASE ALSO SEND A PICTURE.
FRIDAY AND SATURDAY HOSTED BY HOT 97′S BIG DENNIS. ( LATIN NIGHT )

Jesus Christ, people.

God made me eat Cajun fries

I meant to have salad with fat-free dressing, a turkey sandwich on wheat bread and fresh pineapple for lunch today. I really did. But that’s not what ended up happening. I blame a combination of God, Mother Nature and Lonn Trost (just because).

Five Guys Burgers and Fries

I went out to run a few errands in Hoboken and found myself having to walk all the way up Washington Street to 5th Street to get a copy of the New York Post. As much as I love being online, I’m still a traditionalist when it comes to newspapers. Even though every article in the paper is available on the Web, I still like to actually read the paper, and Washington Street is lacking places that sell newspapers.

So, Post in hand, I started walking down Washington Street to head back home, when the skies absolutely opened up and it started pounding rain — I’m talking Noah’s Ark rain. While searching for shelter from the downpour, what should magically appear across the street, but Five Guys Burgers and Fries?

So, what was I to do? I couldn’t seek shelter in the establishment without sampling some of its fine culinary goods. One cheeseburger, one order of Cajun fries and one Mr. Pibb later, the rain miraculously stopped, and I was on my way back home.

And to anyone who feels the need to point out that I was actually much closer to Pita Grill when the rain hit than I was to Five Guys, kindly shut the hell up.

Feline fun

The great move of ’09 has been fairly smooth so far. Everything went well Thursday, and the apartment is slowly starting to come together. The new king bed is so comfortable that I’m actually afraid of falling asleep on a Friday night and waking up sometime Tuesday afternoon. All in all, things are good.

Would YOU try to take food from this cat?

The cats, on the other hand, have been coming along much more slowly than the apartment. Skittles — my girlfriend’s cat, the new cat in town and the only male of the three — is adjusting pretty well. After being skittish (pun intended) at first, he’s becoming more and more comfortable, and he’s tried several times to approach Trouble and 8-Ball in a friendly manner. Trouble is getting less hostile. 8-Ball? Not so much a lot.

But Skittles did something this morning that made me wonder if he’s brave, or just stupid. I fed Trouble and 8-Ball and, just as 8-Ball started to eat — her sole reason for being — Skittles tried to nudge her snout out of the way so that he could sample a few bites. What a bad, bad move.

8-Ball let out a hiss for the ages, her plume shot up like Medusa, and she raised her paw up threateningly. I’m fairly certain Skittles made it to the other side of the living room in fractions of a second that are usually reserved for timing the 40-yard dash in the Olympics.

I mean, honestly, what sane being would try to take food from an animal that looks like 8-Ball? I’m just happy I didn’t spend the remainder of the morning cleaning up blood, fur and cat parts.

Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes

My life is about to take a dramatic turn, and it’s definitely for the better. My girlfriend is moving in tomorrow. I’m very excited, but I also know it will be a big adjustment. I’ve had roommates, but I’ve never lived with anyone before. We did sort of have a trial run by sharing a room in our old beach house, but, as she pointed out, that was more of a vacation situation, where this is everyday life.

Changes

I’m not particularly concerned. I’m sure we’ll be fine. Adjustment doesn’t have to be a bad thing. It will just be a matter of reminding myself that, after so many years of living alone, things will be different. It will all be worth it, though, and I’m extremely happy.

We’ve always gotten along well, so the adjustments I’m talking about will be minor, small ones. For example, I guess I can get used to waking up to Z-100 instead of ESPN Radio. But I will really miss Mike and Mike in the Morning, and I may punch the clock radio if I hear “Umbrella” or The Killers.

It will definitely make dinners easier. Not that anyone will leave Emeril’s restaurant for my dining room any time soon, but cooking for two is a hell of a lot easier than cooking for one, and we’ll hopefully both eat healthier and save money.

One thing that will be very strange for me is moving to the other bedroom after being in my room for five years. They’re the same size, so it’s not like I’m downgrading or upgrading, but I’m going to feel like a ballplayer who played several years for one team, then got traded to another club, returning to his old home ballpark — I may start to walk into my old bedroom for a while, the same way returning ballplayers start to walk into the home locker room and then realize their mistake and head toward the visitors’ locker room.

The good thing is that my biggest worry right now is integrating the three cats — two who already think they own this apartment, and one newcomer.

The three animals could not possibly have more different personalities. Trouble, my first cat, is a grump and a grouch who occasionally displays brief glimpses of affection and is thoroughly and completely obsessed with treats. 8-Ball is a total sweetheart who is fazed by absolutely nothing but thoroughly and completely obsessed with food. And Skittles, her cat, burns more energy in three minutes than my two combined do in one month. He definitely has ADD, which earned him the nickname, “Ritalin.” Even when he’s at rest, his tail is constantly twitching. And he is thoroughly and completely obsessed with water, to the point of standing in the bathroom sink, with his head under the running faucet, and getting absolutely soaked.

Again, I’m happy and not worried. If our biggest problem is whether or not the cats get along, I can’t really complain. This is the next chapter of my life and our life, and I guess I had to start acting like a grownup at some point. Hell, I managed to get through 41 years before caving!

The 2009 New York Yankees: 162 road games

Even though my Yankees lost both games I attended in Philadelphia over Memorial Day weekend, overall, I had a pretty decent holiday, especially for my first Memorial Day since 2000 without a beach house.

Phillies fan (can't say I disagree with his jersey)

Wait … what’s that you say? The games were in the Bronx, not Philadelphia? Well, you could have fucking fooled me.

The number of Phillies fans in the ballpark Friday night and Sunday afternoon — naturally, the only game I didn’t attend was the only game the Yankees won — was even more excessive than the number of Boston fans earlier this month.

It was so excessive that when I got on the PATH train to return to Hoboken Friday night, there was only one other Yankees fan on the car, and the rest of the people were Philadelphia fans, which led my girlfriend to ask, “Is this the Broad Street line?”

And the ferry from Hoboken to Yankee Stadium Sunday was even worse. The boat carried, without question, two-thirds to three-quarters Phillies fans. As my girlfriend pointed out, it wasn’t a ferry: It was a pherry. And I phucking hate it.

T-shirt from BaldVinny.com

First off, while Red Sux fans can go get bent, I have no problem with Phillies fans. I’d probably hate a lot of them during football season, because my hatred for the Eagles is beyond irrational, but I really don’t have a problem with them during baseball season, and they certainly did nothing wrong by buying tickets to this past weekend’s games.

Second, I have no problem with Yankees fans who sold their tickets. Many of us were forced into buying full season tickets in order to have seats with a view of something other than a urinal, which is why there are so many tickets on the market.

I just hope the Yankees’ “brain trust” (it was hard to type that with a straight face) sees what they’ve created. There’s absolutely no home-field advantage anymore. When chants of “Let’s go Red Sox” and “Let’s go Phillies” drown out the fans of the home team, this is a serious problem.

I know the team’s management more than likely doesn’t give a rat’s ass, since the tickets are sold, which is all they care about. And that’s the sad part: Yes, baseball is a business, but this organization has managed to drain every last drop of fun out of being a Yankees fan. Feeling like a visiting fan in my own ballpark sucks ass.