One of the hardest things I’ve had to adjust to since 0.9 joined the fold is how long it takes to do something simple, like get the hell out of the house.
The days of my simple four-item checklist — wallet, keys, car keys, and cell phone — are now history. Now, a whole host of questions must be answered before exiting our apartment:
- Did he eat?
- Is he hungry?
- How long ago did he eat?
- When is the last time his diaper was changed?
- When is the last time he pooped?
- Should we change his diaper first?
- Does he look like he’s about to poop?
- Is he asleep?
- Should we wait until he falls asleep?
- Should we wait until he wakes up?
What used to take 10 seconds now seems to take two hours, and even though I know I will get used to it, and I know there are good reasons for those questions, right now, it drives me absolutely insane.
In the process, I have developed a great deal of admiration for the diaper bag. Apparently, this innocent-looking, small receptacle can carry within it an entire Babies ‘R’ Us, including the furniture department. Diapers, wipes, changes of clothes, toys, and God knows what else all fit inside.
Now I understand why people with kids are always late, although this excuse does not apply to some of my friends who have never and will never showed up on time for anything in their lives.