My IRS Data Require Immediate Action? This must be BAD!

IRSLogoDoes anyone know a good tax lawyer? I am clearly in hot water with the Internal Revenue Service, because the email I received this morning MUST be real. After all, it came from IRS.online.services@irs.gov, complete with the eloquent subject line, “Your IRS Data Require Immediate Action.”

Dear IRS User,

This is an Important Message regarding your IRS Filing, from previous year and current year.

Our system indicates you have some changes in your record and We will like you to Kindly follow the given instructions in order to comply with our new sytem requirements. To avoid future difficulty with IRS services.

By filling out the Taypayer’s information that only you and IRS know, you can feel even more secure with your yearly Tax payout, knowing all information is Up to date.

To Proceed, Please find attached HTML Web Page.

Download and Save it to your Device Desktop

Go to Device Desktop to open the HTML Web Page

Continue by Filling your Information

Failure to comply, IRS will leave your Information Flagged on the system which will lead to taking other actions toward your next Tax Filing..

Sincerely,

IRS Online Services

IRS user?

Way to randomly sprinkle uppercase words throughout the email.

What is a “sytem requirement?”

What is a “taypayer?”

I believe I will engage in “failure to comply” and take my chances.

Stimulated

The day I’ve been yearning for has finally arrived: Today, I received my 2008 Economic Stimulus Payment in the mail.

Fear not, however: I vow not to let this newfound wealth get to my head. I believe in the old cliché: Be nice to the people you meet on the way up, because they’re going to be the same people you meet on the way down.

It’s tough to keep a level head, though. My brain is aflutter with the possibilities. Having this extra cash on hand just opens up a world of avenues.

Do I invest it? Do I put it in my savings account for safe-keeping? Do I treat myself to something nice? Or perhaps pick up something shiny and glittering for my girlfriend? Do I buck conventional wisdom and bet it on a Belmont Stakes exacta that doesn’t include Big Brown? Or let it ride on No. 22 on a roulette table in Atlantic City?

Chill: There’s no need to make a hasty decision. I’ll consult with relatives, friends and advisors and determine the best use for this sudden embarrassment of riches. And until then, I’ll just stare at the beautiful check and those wonderful digits that appear on it: $8.05.

I really hope I don’t spend it all in one place.