Wow, I mean, are spammers even trying anymore? I don’t expect spam emails to follow the Chicago Manual of Style to the letter, but how about at least trying to at least slightly resemble English? This gem below, clearly unedited, was of the “Facebook Lottery” variety (for the love of God, people, there is NO SUCH THING as a Facebook Lottery):
Sent: 3/30/2014 4:15:55 P.M. Eastern Daylight Time
Subj: FACEBOOK ONLINE LOTTERY PROGRAMME 2014, CONTACT E-mail: (firstname.lastname@example.org)
FACEBOOK ONLINE LOTTERY PROGRAMME 2014
FROM: THE DESK OF THE PRESIDENT.
INTERNATIONAL PROMOTIONS/PRIZE AWARD.
BATCH NUMBER: 2551236002/244
SERIAL NUMBER. 55643451907
TICKET NUMBER: 5647600545189
Dear Winner ,
We are pleased to inform you of the result of the just concluded annual Final draws held on the (25th Of March 2014.) by Face book group in cash Promotion to encourage the usage of Face book world state dollars) each on the Face book group promotion Award Attached to ticket number (5647600545189) and Ref No (2551256002/244) Serial Number (55643451907).
The online draws was Conducted by a random selection of email you where picked by an Advanced automated random computer search from the Face book in other To claim your $600,000.00USD the lottery program which is a new innovation by Face book, is aimed at saying A BIG THANK YOU to all our users for making Face book their number one means to connect, communicate,relate and hook up with their families and friends over the years.
This is part of our security protocol to avoid double claiming and unwarranted abuse of this program by some participants and Scam artists All participants were selected through a computer ballot system drawn from over 20,000 companies’ and 30,000,000 individuals’ email addresses and names from all over the world. This promotional program takes place every three years.You have to be Rest assured that this is Real and Legal..and there are Some Scam artists around…Thanks to the FBI…216 of them have been arrested… The software corporation to encourage some few individuals with web site and email addresses promoted this lottery.
Your name was selected in a raffle that was made on the 28th Of March 2014. so we need your fast response so that we can proceed with the delivery of your fund .You are required to contact our payment dept via e-mail:
Phone: +1 (301) 678-9083
With information below in order for us to complete your winning certificate and for further information regarding the disbursement of your lottery win.
FULL CONTACT ADDRESS:
MOBILE PHONE NUMBER:
MARITAL STATUS AND AGE :
NATIONALITY / COUNTRY:
YOUR EMAIL ADDRESS:
you can also contact the FBI Agent in person for more information and advise and give him your number so he can call or text you.
Remember all winnings must be claimed not later than 20 of April 2014. After this date, all unclaimed funds will be included in the next stake. To avoid unnecessary delays and complications please remember to quote your
reference and batch numbers in all correspondences. Furthermore, if there is any change in email address please contact us on time To enable him issue you certificate of winning Accept my hearty congratulations once again.
CONGRATULATIONS ONCE AGAIN FROM FACE BOOK!!!!
APPROVED AND SIGNED
I mean, where do I start with the mistakes, obvious red flags, and blatant stupidity in this one?
- The reply to email is email@example.com. What does “woldwide” mean?
- From the desk of the president? Facebook doesn’t HAVE a president. The two top executives in the company are Mark Zuckerberg (CEO) and Sheryl Sandberg (COO).
- It’s Facebook, not Face book.
- “You have to be Rest assured that this is Real and Legal..and there are Some Scam artists around…Thanks to the FBI…216 of them have been arrested…” I hope this asshole is No. 217. Is that sentence even English?
- Why are you asking for an email address? You obviously HAVE the fucking email address. I got an email, didn’t I?
- “you can also contact the FBI Agent in person for more information and advise and give him your number so he can call or text you.” Even if a Facebook Lottery DID exist, what role, exactly, would the FBI play in it?
If anyone fell for this, they should never be allowed to use a computer, cell phone, tablet, or oxygen again.