I met a few friends for a few beers a couple of weeks ago as part of an unofficial “Farewell to Hoboken” tour, and with the way some of them were acting, you would think I was moving 40 galaxies away, instead of 40 minutes away, to Basking Ridge, N.J.
I do see their point, though. Some of my friends who made similar moves before we did have warned that when you are no longer in Hoboken, you tend to slip off the radar screen after a while.
It’s not as if you are forgotten by your friends, or they’re not thinking of you. I think it’s a combination of things. After moving, when you’re invited to a few events and don’t go, people tend to leave you off the list for future events, figuring that you won’t be able to make them. And the same applies for spur-of-the-moment gatherings. If a group of my friends suddenly decides to go out for drinks on a random Tuesday night after we move, the chances of me traveling from Basking Ridge to Hoboken to join them are minuscule, so I wouldn’t blame them if I wasn’t invited.
My plan is to try to let as many people as possible know when I actually am going to be in Hoboken, so I can try to see a good percentage of them. Will it work? That remains to be seen.
As I said in my blog post talking about the impending move, it’s not like I’ve really been going out a lot, anyway. The impending arrival and successful addition of 0.9 to the family has not left much time for debauchery.
Will some friendships fade in time? They probably will, as much as I don’t like to think about that. It happens constantly throughout life. But I intend to try to remain in the loop as much as I can, and, as I said, to try to make the most of every trip back to the area.
The next person who says, “We’re never going to see you again,” owes me a shot and a beer. I’ve had it!