Another day, another dolt

The text box with the tips email for the blog I work on says, “Send us a tip.” It doesn’t say, “Please come to us for Facebook technical support.” Nor does it say, “We are Facebook. Email us, and we will solve all your problems and send over a case of beer for your troubles.” Yet emails dripping with stupidity continue to swim through the broadband pipes and into my inbox.

Here is the latest gem, unedited except for removing names and email addresses.

WHY?

I don’t know. You tell me.

I certainly hope that this email gets to a real live human being at Facebook.

Well, maybe actually contacting Facebook would be a step in the right direction, ass hat. We are not Facebook. We are a blog that covers Facebook.

I, like many Facebook Enthusiasts, have two or more Email address..  One is for personal use and the other for business.  You have had my PERSONAL ADDRESS FOR A NUMBER OF YEARS – as it is my personal address.

I also have two or more Email address. Maybe we should date.

I’ve kept my business address to myself – because my boss does not permit anyone to use a company email address for non-business purposes.  Why?  I neither know nor care.  It does seem prudent however.

Someone hired you? Great Caesar’s Ghost!

Somehow Facebook accidentally found out my business Email address.

Somehow, as in, you probably did something stupid. Facebook is closing in on 1 billion users and getting ready to go public. I’m sure snooping for users’ secondary email addresses is not on the to-do list in Menlo Park.

Since this happened Facebook has sent me NUMEROUS EMAILS TELLING ME TO USE WHAT IS, IN FACT, MY BUSINESS ADDRESS.  ALL OF MY PLEAS TO CONTINUE USING MY PERSONAL GMAIL ADDRESS HAVE GONE UNANSWERED.

Well, that sucks, and I can’t really think of an explanation, but what do you expect me to do about it? Pick up my red phone that gives me instant access to Zuck?

I really like Facebook and would really like to continue using it – but not at the potential cost of losing my job over it.

Yeah, this is probably the first wise thing you’ve said, because if I were you, I wouldn’t want to run the risk of hoping someone else gets suckered into hiring me, either.

Could you PLEASE find someway to adjust you polices, procedures, operating practices, or whatever to return my personal email address back to me?

Dude, I am not trying to adjust any polices. They carry guns. I could find some way to adjust my personal policies, sure, but making fun of dolts like you is just too enjoyable. As far as adjusting Facebook’s policies, well, that’s slightly above my pay grade.

What the hell is wrong with people? When did, “Send us a tip,” become, “Please allow us to drop everything we’re doing and help you with all of your Facebook difficulties?”

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One comment on “Another day, another dolt

  1. […] the email stupidity continues: This gem comes from New Brunswick, where, the last time I checked, they spoke English, […]

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