Hey, Baltimore Orioles: How about getting your shit together?

A once-proud franchise, the Baltimore Orioles, has become a disgrace to Major League Baseball, posting losing season after losing season, and carrying rosters filled with ill-prepared young players and past-their-prime veterans. Something needs to be done about this, and quickly.

“But, wait,” the observant reader might be saying to himself or herself right now, “Nine is a Yankees fan. Why does he give a shit about the Orioles?”

Orioles SUCK

Well, I will tell you why I give a shit: The Orioles are costing me money, because I can’t give my damned Yankees tickets away when their sorry asses are in town. I ate my tickets to tonight’s game — which Baltimore lost in classic Orioles fashion, on a two-run throwing error by washed-up third baseman Miguel Tejada, who is clearly not enjoying the post-steroids phase of his career — despite having dropped the price for $55 seats to $15 on StubHub this afternoon. And I haven’t had a taker for tomorrow night’s game, or the Thursday-afternoon matinee.

The Orioles have become what the Tampa Bay Rays used to be: The one horrific fucking team in the division that comes up on the schedule 18 times per season and gives fans no reason to want to attend the games. If the Yankees win, they were supposed to win, and if they lose, well, how in the fuck did they lose to the stinking Orioles?

To Tampa’s credit, the Rays have gone from perennial cellar dweller to a legitimate championship contender and, if the club’s farm system can replace a couple of key players who will likely leave in search of greener pastures after this season (Carl Crawford), this team can be in the mix for quite a few years.

The Orioles used to be one of baseball’s model franchises. Almost every one of their prospects came up to the Major Leagues knowing how to play the game the right way, because “The Oriole Way” actually meant something. Now, “The Oriole Way” just means tanking yet another season. Ever since Peter Angelos became the owner of this ball club, things have gone downhill year after year.

It’s a shame. Baltimore has great baseball fans, and Camden Yards is still one of the best ballparks in the league. Ask any opposing fans, since they usually make up two-thirds of the crowd.

If any Orioles fans happen to read this blog, what I wrote isn’t intended as an insult to you. You should agree 100% with my sentiments. What has happened to this team over the past 15 years or so is disgraceful, and you deserve better.

So, Baltimore Orioles: Can you try not to suck so I can actually sell a fucking ticket occasionally?

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2 comments on “Hey, Baltimore Orioles: How about getting your shit together?

  1. Osfan92 says:

    Thank you for writing this! I actually enjoyed reading this, and am glad the Orioles are at least getting some negative attention out there other than from our own fans. The Orioles have made me dislike baseball after 12 going on 13 straight losing seasons. Unfortunately for you, or even Orioles fans, the Orioles will continue to be a pathetic franchise as long as Peter Angelos is running the team, and as long as we continue to have terrible scouting for offensive players. Hard to believe this franchise had Jon Miller calling games from the booth and that Davey Johnson was behind the bench in the dugout.

  2. Mike says:

    I am an Orioles fan from WAY, WAY back and every word you spoke is nothing but the truth. I remember when Orioles/Yankees, Orioles/Red Sox matchups meant something. Now they just mean a “W” for the team they are playing. You mentioned the young players coming up,,,so true! They used to have one of if not the best farm system in baseball. What a joke now. I see Angelos and management doing nothing but “putting a team on the field” and letting the chips fall where they may. Hey Peter…can you say “tax write off?!”

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