My two cats have been on a diet for about three months. Why? Because they’re fat.
Trouble has handled it well and has never been obsessed with food. She knows it’s coming, and she eats when she feels like eating. And trust me, she feels like eating on a frequent basis.
8-Ball, on the other hand, is thoroughly and completely obsessed with eating. Her entire life revolves around the two food dishes in the kitchen. So when the unlimited food dispenser disappeared and the bowls that are only filled in the morning appeared, she was not a happy creature.
8-Ball started waking me up every morning, usually around 6:30 but sometimes as early as 4:30. The cat mounted a torture campaign using methods such as: walking on my head and chest; pawing and batting at my head; sticking her fat wet nose in my ear and sniffing; meowing loudly; and repeating the above relentlessly.
I refused to get up and feed her before 7 a.m., because I didn’t want her to think she would be rewarded for stampeding on me by being instantly fed, but her resolve never wore down.
This past weekend, as I hope you all know, we moved the clocks ahead one hour for Daylight Savings Time. I happened to be up early Sunday for no apparent reason, but Monday morning, when the first giant cat hoof found my neck, I looked at the clock and was pleasantly surprised to see a 7 as the first digit on my clock instead of a 6 or a 4. Then I realized that, according to 8-Ball’s body clock, it was 6:30 and not 7:30, and I rejoiced at the fact that I would actually get to sleep until a normal hour for a little while.
Well, that didn’t last long. This morning, at 6:15, 20 pounds of cat fur walked across my head and chest, and a fat wet nose found its way into my ear. So 8-Ball Savings Time lasted exactly one day.
This cat is lucky I love her.