A story I read in today’s edition of the New York Post was basically a step-by-step primer on a great way to get caught cheating on your wife, so I thought I’d share it with everyone. Information, after all, is a valuable tool.
First off, you don’t want to pick just any woman to cheat with. Why would you want to go and do something silly like that? No, you want to pick a woman who’s instantly recognizable to reporters, photographers and just about anyone who’s been near a television or newspaper since former New York Gov. Eliot Spitzer added the “former” to his description. Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you: Ashley Dupre. Her “friends” call her Kristen. And she addresses her friends by client number. Sadly, 9 is already taken.
Second, you don’t pick just any old place to hook up. If you’re going to go for it, you might as well go for the gusto. So be sure to pick a well-known Manhattan hotel where Lindsay Lohan and her lesbian lover, Samantha Ronson, are staying. There will be plenty of press and paparazzi there.
Finally, be sure your wife doesn’t find out from the nosy neighborhood yenta. Get with the program. This is the information age. A story in the New York Post that will spread via e-mail faster than the old Nigerian bank scam is the way to go.
So what was T.J. Earle thinking? I mean, seriously? Was he trying to get caught? The guy is the vice president of a major construction company, and he’s putting himself in a position to lose half of his shit? I don’t want to lose half of my shit, and I’m sure half of my shit is about half of a percent of half of his shit.
Stupidity is alive and well.