1) Leave Hoboken and stop at the Exxon/Dunkin Donuts on Jersey Ave.
2) Purchase a large iced coffee, cinnamon flavor, from Dunkin Donuts.
3) Take Route 1/9 South, toward Newark Airport, and choose the Pulaski Skyway option.
4) Get caught behind a moron driving a van at 45 miles per hour in the left lane, leading to a clusterfuck of cars attempting to pass the offending van from the right lane.
5) Come around a curve while accelerating, only to see a Cablevision van at a dead stop in the right lane with its flashers on.
6) Slam on the brakes, coming to a stop slightly more than one yard from the van. In the process, be sure the cup containing the cinnamon iced coffee flies out of the cup holder, crashes into the windshield and erupts, spilling cinnamon coffee and ice throughout the vehicle.
7) Wait until heart rate slows from four times normal level, call Cablevision van driver every word of profanity in your vocabulary, and proceed south on Route 1/9.
9) Repeat as necessary (or hopefully never again).
Yes, I know, there’s no step No. 8, but I’m a little fahklempt.