A mystery breakfast gone awry

For a number of reasons, I decided it would be beneficial to have a productive Saturday, rather than imitating my two cats and doing nothing but lying on the bed or couch and occasionally stretching or scratching.

So, why not take advantage of the fact that I live a block-and-a-half from a Dunkin Donuts? Since my PC takes about 20 minutes to boot anyway, I threw on sweatpants and a hat and took a walk to fetch breakfast.

I’m an iced-coffee addict, so I figured I’d start my day with a large iced cinnamon; sausage, egg and cheese on an English muffin; and a glazed donut.

In the words of the great Meat Loaf, “Two out of three ain’t bad.” And if anyone knows about breakfast, it’s Meat Loaf.

When I got back upstairs, my PC was actually ready to go, so I fired up a couple of applications and unwrapped my sausage, egg and cheese on an English muffin. Only it wasn’t a sausage, egg and cheese on an English muffin. It was something quite unsatisfying, to say the least: a salt bagel with cream cheese.

At the risk of offending any salt-bagel aficionados who might come across this blog, YUCK. Seriously, who eats these things? One might yell at me for being too lazy to walk back to Dunkin Donuts and exchange the sandwich, and one would be dead-balls accurate on that front, but that was seriously one of the worst sandwiches I’ve ever had. It’s been one hour, one large iced coffee and one large Solo cup of water later, and I still have the taste of salt in my mouth. Foul.

So I guess the moral of the story is: Check your sandwich before leaving the establishment.

Unless someone can teach me how to say, “Sausage, egg and cheese on an English muffin” in Hindi.

3 comments on “A mystery breakfast gone awry

  1. Heather says:

    Growing up in a home with plenty o’ bagel (not to mention the number of bagels that were fed to us by two sets of grandparents) I think I can attest, with some level of expertise, to the total wrongness of the phrase “salt bagel”. If I want anything resembling salt on a bagel I’m slapping a nice thick piece of lox on the sucker and calling it a day. Seriously? A salt bagel? I second your “YUCK”.

  2. Lisa says:

    I’m surprised it took you this long to get burned on an order. I habitually check my order before I leave because the bozos who work behind the counter desperately need ASL as their core training. Any other type of training is secondary. Just the other day I went to Booger King and asked for a knife with my order. The senorita told me it was in the bag. I saw her put SOME kind of utensil in the bag and–foolish me–gave her the benefit of the doubt. I guess “knife” in Spanish translates to “fork” in English. I guess I should’ve told her “fork you and learn the difference between the two utensils.”

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