(Originally posted on my MySpace blog Aug. 23, 2007)
A two-middle-fingers-raised, loud FUCK YOU to the management of the PNC Bank Arts Center for a recent decision that reeks of stupidity.
Some 26-year-old moron from Forked River — don’t even get me STARTED on THAT town! — died at Ozzfest earlier this month. It turns out that one stimulant wasn’t enough for this soon-to-be-former party animal — large amounts of marijuana, cocaine AND alcohol were found in his system.
So what did the geniuses who run the Arts Center do? They banned alcohol from the parking lot.
Because of one idiot, responsible people who don’t turn their bodies into toxic cocktails can’t enjoy a few beers before a show?
Hey, Einsteins, guess what? Your alcohol ban will lead to three things:
• Much greater consumption of hard liquor, as it’s much easier to hide than beer;
• Much greater consumption of drugs, as they’re even easier to hide than hard liquor; and
• People getting lit up like Christmas trees in other locations, THEN driving to the Arts Center for the show.
I mean, really, are you shitting me? Pot, cocaine, alcohol — I wonder which one killed him.
Actually, part of my FUCK YOU goes to our justice system. My guess is that part of the motivation behind this idiotic policy is to avoid lawsuits. Any judge with an IQ topping that of a Dorito should immediately throw the lawsuit out of his or her courtroom upon hearing the word “cocaine.” But there are never any guarantees (See: O.J. Simpson on the golf course instead of the big house).
Scratch PNC Bank Arts Center off my list of concert venues — the place sucks ass, anyway — until this half-witted policy is scrapped.